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"All of you girls have shown the signs of puberty. You should be
talking to your moms about this. God will be coming into your
body and urging you to obey his command to make your bodies one
with boys'. An erection is God's signal to both of you to
embrace. Let the boy wake your libido; let him kiss your clitoris
and bring you thrills. Take his penis into your mouth and make
love to it and welcome his semen into your mouth and vagina. It
is only through orgasm that we can be with Jesus and know God's
joy. ... You are at the most exciting time of your lives. I hope
you will enjoy measuring, exhibiting and using your maturing
organs. And that you will enjoy seeing boys too, as their penises
grow and become objects for you to love and make love with. Your
first period is a signal for you that your time has come."
-- Rev. X, in a sex ed lecture to a cohort of adolescent girls,
about 1995, telling them also to be coquettish and "sweet" in the
presence of an penis and to feel joy at making it become erect.
(I think there is an echo there of Moses David and the Children
of God although Rev. X was obviously being more explicit than
David Berg ever dared. He would go on to point out that "the
urgency with which teen boys and girls pursue their sex drives
proves its naturalness in the sight of God".) Wilhelm Reich (you
can Google him) would have been pleased.
----------
Rev. X, like Mom's Friend and my own Mom, was saying that oral
sex is the epitome of religious experience, and that every human
being from the time of puberty--from the time of menarche and
spermarche, the start of sexual capacity and attraction, of
periods and semen--is entitled and intended to express love for
Jesus through romantic engagement. And that semen and menstrual
blood, far from being debasing, are uplifting: the hosts of Holy
Communion. But the spiritual magic works only for the faithful,
and one's sex partner must be properly introduced, of the same
age, and wholly consensual.
It is generally true that cults and sects operate within closed
communities of varying degrees of enforced secrecy. Warren Jeffs'
polygamous cult is an example.
http://slate.com/id/2175730/ Until Jeffs' trial on statutory rape
charges we didn't know much about the Fundamentalist Mormon
polygamists. (Jeffs was tried and convicted for having arranged
the "marriage" of a 14-year-old girl to an older man,
http://tinyurl.com/22b3pj which brings to mind the spoof Web site
Marry Our Daughter (formerly at marryourdaughter.biz), now taken
down but still blogged all over the Web.
There's nothing wrong, of course, with pubescent and adolescent
girls having sex--after all, Dear Reader, I've been doing that
since age 11 and have had sex over 1,500 times by now. But the
girl and the boy should always be about the same age if one of
them is under 16; and never mind that puberty is occurring at
ever-younger ages:
http://tinyurl.com/bjueg (PDF)
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8716780 (marriage of Nebraska girl,
13)
http://tinyurl.com/25mbw9 (marriage of Maryland girl Tina Akers,
13; see also:
http://cosmicbaseball.com/tinaker9.html
http://tinyurl.com/25445t )
With few exceptions--the Big Breasted Girl, at 13, was one but
her body was crying out for a penis and she did look much older
than her age--few outsiders found their way to our regular nude
dance parties for younger teens. Nude parties in other venues for
college-age kids are no news at all. In fact by the time I was 17
I don't think any of my acquaintances was any longer a virgin. At
15 and 16 I led a number of girls to be seduced; but all of them
were ready, able and willing. In most cases these weren't the
most popular, because they were shy, because they weren't the
most beautiful and sexy, because they were afraid. This is just a
brief note, an essay, in how I propagated the faith by inducing
girls to believe--as I firmly did and do--that sex is an
accessory to (perhaps even an accoutrement of) religion and that
ejaculation and the reception of semen constitute Holy Communion.
A girl knows when it is time for her to have her first sex; if
there is any hesitation on the occasion of a public defloration
it's to take in the occasion, and to appreciate the attention of
her audience. For a girl in a community like the Children of God,
or at Mom's Friend's House, or in Warren Jeffs' sect, the
readiness will come earlier than in mainstream life. The norms
and practices of her peers will influence her. But most any girl
older than 14 is potentially ready. I think that when I was 15
everybody knew that I was sexually active; I could hardly have
hidden the fact. But even in our backwoods community, Our Town,
this was the fabulous '90s; Bill Clinton was our President: oral
sex was just another kind of kissing: the "ultimate kiss" it has
been called, but a kiss nonetheless.
I think it might be interesting for readers to have the details
of one instance where I introduced an "outsider", a 15-year-old
girl, to our crowd. There were other examples--there were over a
dozen girls who between the ages of 14 and 16 who, for one reason
or another, I became the agent of introduction to sex, almost
always because they expressed wishful wonderment over oral sex.
Each time I would get the girl together with two boys and myself,
the boys would undress to their underpants, I'd get the girl to
take down the boys' pants and then I'd guide her in playing with
a penis and I'd bring my boy to ejaculation in my mouth and get
the boy bring me to climax orally too. The other girl would then
follow. (Mom had told me how touching it was for a mother to see
a son or daughter doing this and so I originally started the
"underpants minuet" for her: it really is a sweet sight, and a
lot of fun, and arousing for onlookers.) However diffident she
might have been at first, to be face to face with an erect penis
and to have watched while I brought one to ejaculate and
swallowed the semen forced a commitment on her part to follow me.
And maybe the sight of the penis going in and out of my mouth
hypnotized the girls. Whatever the reason, every time the girl
would grasp the penis, kiss it and put it in her mouth; and every
time she would, after making it ejaculate, change places with the
boy, spread her legs wide, and watch the boy put his lips to her
vagina and his tongue to her clitoris and bring her to climax,
great or small. Either way, to extreme pleasure. What is most
remarkable about those transformations of dreams and urges to
reality is how quickly I was able to banish shyness,
embarrassment, hesitation and false modesty on the part of the
girl. One of the girls had said she wanted to see fellatio but
"would never, [herself], do such a thing" and I had told her she
was under obligation to do anything; but just the same after
seeing me in a state of joy with my boy's tongue in my vagina,
she just reached out to the penis in front of her and put it in
her mouth.
---------
The case I want to write about was different: the focus here was
the girl's vagina and not any penis or any sex act; but the boy
was someone very special.
The girl had confided in me that she thought there was something
"wrong" with her vagina, that it wasn't "normal". I'd heard such
stories before, and they were always unfounded. I asked her what
led her to that conclusion, and she wasn't sure, she just "had a
feeling" that something was amiss. I suggested that a nude pool
party might give her a chance to compare notes, so to speak. When
she found out that I meant a co-ed pool party she was aghast, and
it turned out she hadn't ever seen a penis, not even a baby's,
except in a picture. I told her not to worry, and that while we
were a sexy crowd she would be safe.
What I didn't tell her was that I would, as I routinely did, have
as part of that crowd, and as a prospective partner for her,
someone who must certainly be a descendent of the Duca di Mantova
(and if you don't know who he was, then I'll give you a hint: his
greatest exposition was in the 1983 film where he was played by
the late Luciano Pavarotti). I had no doubt that it would be love
at first sight between her and the Duca's penis. (Well why not.
"Love" for the boy is less relevant, and isn't "Love at first
sight just sex and ego" anyway?
http://guardian.co.uk/science/2007/nov/07/1 ) My goal would
be to get that penis in her mouth and in her vagina, and get her
glad to have it there, to take his semen, to know romance and
passion. And to know that her vagina could make her very, very
glad and happy.
I told her that the Duca was pre-med and an "expert" in anatomy
and that he would observe her objectively and "clinically". That
was, to a tiny degree, true. Anyway it was certain that he would
observe her and reassure her: that was his nature. He also, like
his namesake, would tell her that he loved her and make her, for
the moment or for the day or for the week or for a while, his
Amour.
The 15-year-old girl brought a bikini. Perhaps she had
misunderstood, or not believed. The protocol was that, where
possible, couples would undress each other. At Mom's Friend's
pool there were no facilities for privacy: even the bathrooms and
("Japanese") showers were unisex and tandem. There were always
lots of towels--Mom's Friend had an industrial-strength washing
machine--and there were stackable colored and numbered plastic
crates for each person's clothes. The girl must have seen this,
but not believed. On the other hand, she was--like most girls and
most boys--quite susceptible to hypnotic suggestion of the
Mandrake kind. The extraordinary can be made to seem ordinary,
inevitable. The Duca undressed her, and now it was up to her to
undress him. The rest of us were already naked.
Her top and her bra were off. We hardly reacted. I would not say
that her breasts were picture-perfect, large as they were. Of
what significance is that? Garrison Keillor notwithstanding, we
cannot all be "above average". (His antecedent as an American
narrator, Jean Shepherd, was perhaps more to the point in
recognizing sexuality as a constant; but then he wrote for
Playboy so that should be no surprise. I learned all that in
college.) The Duca admired them and told her how lovely she was,
and he caressed them in a way that she could never have imagined
she would be touched that day. And she did not--she was unable
to--object. And then the Duca loosened her waistband and in one
elegant movement took down her shorts and her panties, and we saw
her vulva.
Already the Duca's penis was stirring. The girl first tried to
look away but was transfixed and stared. I suggested we all go
for a swim.
It was 45 minutes or an hour later, after our water play, that
the Duca and the other boys could be found seated on the edge of
the pool, legs a bit apart in the fashion that Mom's Friend would
have taught them, penises visible, accessible. And, predictable,
still ignored by the Girl. Who nonetheless was, standing in the
pool with that penis so very close to her, engaged in
conversation. The point of the visit seemed forgotten: nobody was
thinking of the Girl's vagina or of its possible irregularity.
The five of us were thinking of how to induce the Girl to play
with the Duca's penis.
Just by having arrived the Girl was committed: there was no way
she could really leave without opening up her vagina to a penis.
We were too eager to see a penis pushing in and pulling out of
that vagina and seeing traces of semen on her body. Signs of
worship within a community where the prime divine command is that
of romance and the mechanics of procreation. There is a natural
apprehension, and hence resistance, on the part of any girl at
her first encounter with a penis; but the presence of friends and
the communal expectation, the cultural norm, will overcome this.
As I pointed out above.
I brought up the subject: did she think her vagina was different
from mine, and from the other girl there? Let her see a vagina in
action. Now I was lying on a chaise longue, and now my boy's
tongue longue was at my vagina. After 10 or 12 minutes, with my
vagina dilated and my clitoris excited to bursting, I reached
climax and had pulled my boy up so that his penis fell into my
vagina and she could see it moving in and out, up and down. She
stared, and she continued to stare until the point of
ejaculation. (I know that nobody, boy or girl, can help being
captivated by the sight of an aroused vagina, hypnotized by the
approaching penis and delighted by the sight of it pushing its
way inside.)
If semen is the body and blood of Christ, then it is something
never to be wasted, discarded. Indeed, that is the sin of Onan.
(It's also the sin of bestiality, but that's another story, and I
refer you to the story of Thomas Granger for the traditional
biblical (and Puritan) penalty:
http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~sam/tgranger.html Many, perhaps
most, mainstream girls have a horror of tasting semen, and even
more their own vaginal mucus. No girl or boy raised in Mom's
Friend's ethic would have such distaste. My boy's penis was in my
mouth and I enjoyed squeezing what liquid I could from inside and
outside.
At our behest and because she found she could not refuse, the
Girl touched the Duca's penis and made it erect. And she even put
her hand around it. And having done that, and having seen me put
my boy's in my mouth, she did that too. And now the Duca was in
control and his penis was stiffer than ever and he guided the
pace of the Girl's lips and tongue to suit his pleasure.
Of course the Girl did not know what to expect at ejaculation,
did not know when it would happen. And did not know what to do
with the semen: the common conundrum of "swallow or spit" had
never occurred to her. She did both: the semen overflowed from
her mouth and there was a pool of it on the Duca's balls in
addition to that in her mouth and down her throat. It made her a
bit confused and she looked to the Duca for support and guidance.
The Duca was very gentle and reassuring. In a moment the Girl lay
on the edge of the pool, now the Duca's tongue was at her vagina
and at her clitoris. It took a long time for her to reach what
would pass for orgasm. And then the Duca's penis, hard again,
entered her vagina.
It is always lovely to see a defloration, to see a girl joining
us as a new communicant. Fortunately I have never had the
occasion to meet a girl who has regretted it, who thought that
her defloration was premature or wrong. You won't find the clips
on YouTube, but these days more than a few girls have got
Camcorder, Webcam or Cell phone clips of the occasion to remind
them forever of how it was; and however dangerous it is from a
legal point of view, lots of young teens record their friends
having sex. I wish I had a clip of my own defloration; but mine
was an accident, or at least I thought so at the time: a boy
tousling with me and falling on top of me, and his penis falling
into my 11-1/2-year-old vagina. I think planning ahead with Mom
and having a defloration party would have been better. But one
can't undo history, as those who undergo hymenoplasty surgery
(which I've written about) sometimes try to do.
http://snurl.com/hymenoplasty
To my mind, the division between "us" and "them", between those
of us for whom sex is a religious duty to be engaged in at and
from puberty, and those for whom it is an option, engaged to love
and affection. The difference, I think, is between those who are
free, and indeed expected, to make love in front of friends and
family, and those for whom it is a private affair. Of course
there is a subset: those (girls) whose sex is orchestrated by
their mothers in an effort to assure a "good match" with a "good
prospect" by way of husband. But that's outside my experience and
my ethic.
It is a big step for a girl from outside our ethic to grasp a
penis for the first time and to put it in her mouth, especially
with others watching. But from the youngest age I "always knew"
that when I had breasts, however diminutive, and a display of
pubic hair I would do this. But most young girls, growing up in
ignorance and not in bliss, think of oral sex if they think of it
at all as something "gross": if Monica Lewinsky and Bill
Clinton's trysts did anything to change their actual conduct they
did nothing to change the perception of pre-pubescent girls
towards the act. (My Mom, political lobbyist for the CoG, has
told me--without ever naming names--that she has had more
Congressional and Canadian parliamentary penises in her mouth
than she can count; most girls moms probably don't have that
perspective on things.)
A penis is, after all, innocent, harmless, gorgeous. Freud may
not have thought that genitals have beauty, but he is not the
eternal arbiter of that; nor is he the judge of faith and of
faith's mandate, to regard the sight of a girl making love to a
penis and vice versa as the ultimate in beauty. But it is more
than what meets the eye: the beauty of sex and its physical
instruments depend on the attitude of the participants: beauty
is, after all, in the mind of the beholder and, where we speak of
human beings with soul and personality, in their minds too. The
boy behind the penis can be difficult, unpleasant, dangerous
even. Where the boy is of good breeding and properly introduced,
nuzzling one's lips against his penis, putting it in one's mouth,
exciting it and making it ejaculate is fun and it is holy. This
is what I tried to tell the Girl. Be that as it may, she did what
came naturally and we saw the Duca's penis go into her mouth and
we saw her make love to it. But she did not know, she was not
told, how to manipulate it so that the spurting semen would be
controlled: it simply spurted, and much of it bounced out of her
mouth; what stayed she swallowed without having thought of it as
holy, desirable or lovely. And then the Duca moved to
reciprocate, as I said.
The Girl's vagina was like any other, but exciting nevertheless:
the simple beauty of complex folds and colors was in due course
enhanced by the sight of a big penis moving in and out, making
love to it. My orgasm was behind me; I felt the obligation to be
chaperone and to see to the Girl's interests and needs. But the
Duca was reliable; that's why I had chosen him. His penis was
tall, dark and handsome: smooth, circumcised, forceful, reliable.
All four of us sat or knelt about the couple as that penis went
through its movements. I couldn't stop watching his balls
jostling--they were more than cute: they were fetching. One of
the other girls told the Girl to keep her eyes on the moving
penis, and somebody put a pillow under her head so she could see
better. When the Duca finished we had him bring his penis to her
lips and she fondled and kissed and held it because we told her
to. She had been captivated.
The big challenge for the Girl, as for the targeted women of
Verdi's Duca, would be to come to terms with the end of the
affair. And for this I made sure that my partner of the day
became close to her, that she became close to him; and indeed he
would teach her that for a teenage girl, until she commits to a
life partner, it is a right and a duty to make love casually, to
many penises, to many boys--and there is neither shame nor sin in
that: on the contrary there is but pride and blessing and
sacrament.
You can tell by the degree of gentleness of a boy as he spreads a
girl's vaginal lips and presses his tongue into her vagina the
degree of respect and romantic passion he has. I have seen boys
as young as 12 or even 11 who have done this well; I have seen
their mothers glow with pride at this, and at their sons'
erections and at the sight of their sons' semen in greater or
lesser quantity: a drop, a teaspoon, a deluge. Jesus had a penis,
circumcised (remember all those paintings of the Circumcision of
Christ?) and gorgeous (was it like Louis Abolafia's, commanding
and inspirational?): one has to think of Jesus each time one sees
such a penis in action. It is the duty of every girl to make love
to such a penis, to make it erect, to make it ejaculate. Just for
her.
(Louis Abolafia was a founder of the Exotic Erotic Ball
http://tinyurl.com/2pzyg7 itself progeny of the 60s "freakers
balls" and precursor of today's ever-younger freak dancing, which
I think is wholesome but The Wall Street Journal had some
problems with:
http://tinyurl.com/2e4fao )
The 15-Year-Old Girl would never be the same. She was young and
impressionable enough so that she came reasonably close to our
way of thinking and her impulse at being close to a penis would
be to get closer, to caress it, to kiss it, to make it hers--it
and its semen. I would come to see her undress boys time and time
again and the lowering of their underpants would always be a
drama and a delight: exposing a penis that was hers to make love
to, caressing it to make it stiff, ruling over it for a day.
(Girls of 13, 14 and 15, it seems, could not resist making videos
of such scenes although Mom's Friend constantly warned against
it, and given what happened to Genarlo Wilson
http://geocities.com/cobil1/wilson2.html
her advice was sound. It's outrageous that prosecutors should
pursue kids for reasons that amount to envy on their part--that
they never got oral sex from a girl--but that's typical of
society, especially Southern society. I asked a friend to provide
a link, and while it's not to a party scene of the sort I
knew--such as one where the birthday boy's penis would be
unclothed and celebrated with a half dozen other couples
watching, it will have to do:
http://tinyurl.com/2h2ydm What could be more natural than that
boys and girls like to undress each other, and that arousal and
sex follow naturally from such flirting? That was the essence of
our nude dancing.)
The Girl caught the spirit of our nude dance parties and came to
like being on center stage, her and her boy, her and her boy's
penis. Making love and setting an example. She liked being
topless and liked being nude, and until she went off to college
and, as I understood, met a boy she would spend some years with,
moving about in our circle and changing partners came to suit
her. There is a certain something to a girl who, when she is nude
and talking with a boy, takes satisfaction in his paying as much
attention to her breasts as to her face. I recognize this because
it can be said of me as well. Of course when I see a boy of a man
looking at my breasts whether I am wearing clothes or not, my
attention moves to his penis: this is turn about as fair play
although disconcerting for some young men. Many or most men have
a penis complex, and that I suppose accounts for all the quack
spam e-mails proposing their enlargement via snake-oil pills or
the equivalent. Mom's Friend did as much as any woman can to make
young boys happy with whatever body they would grow into. That's
why she admonished them to sit forward in their chairs, legs
apart, so they could display their growing penises proudly. It's
the same spirit in which all those mothers of 14-year-old boys
about to strut forward to deflower a 13- or 14-year old girl at
her coming out party would pull down their son's underpants and
gaze fondly at his penis as it--typically--moved up into a
half-erection ready to meet the girl and be fondled by her. And
make her, and him, very happy--and their respective moms as well.
(Erections don't seem to have been much of a problem; I deduce
that the fact of common nudity and the experience of having seen
so many pubescent boys enjoying sex eliminated the apprehension
and the fear of inadequacy that are said to lead sometimes to
impotence when young boys are first challenged to have sex. And
bear in mind that public erections were never a source of
embarrassment but of pride, a witness to divine presence,
whatever the age of the boy.)
My Mom has often reminded me of that minuet--a minuet I however
missed because I anticipated the party planned for me by my
accidental defloration all alone with the boy. Over the years
I've tried to make up for that with little playlets as I made
love to boys: trying to be in her presence as I aroused the boys,
as I uncovered their penises, as I made love to them. And being
happy to make love in tandem with her, Mom's lover and mine and
Mom and I making love in sight of each other, her lover's penis
and my lover's ejaculating one after the other. And I suppose
what delights Mom most about my boyfriend, the Blond-Haired Boy,
is the memory of all those years ago at the houseboat when I
seduced him, and Mom saw, and his penis was shy and not yet
fully-grown, and I showed him how it could make him happy and
proud. Indeed, Mom has said many times that it is a mother's
right and duty to see to her son's first ejaculation in a girl's
body, and it's a pity that society doesn't encourage this. But
isn't this, after all, that part of that mystical relationship
between a mother and her son's penis that I've written so often
about? What mother doesn't--really--long to see her son's penis
pressing into a girl's vagina, spurting semen into her, creating
joy? And shouldn't sex be a family affair, vicariously enjoyed by
parents, siblings, friends just as it was for so many years at
Mom's Friend's House.
----------
The Duca's personal history is itself interesting and typical of
one class of boys we knew.
His mother had lived with him at Mom's Friend's House for some
months or a year after escaping an abusive relationship. That she
had a prior involvement with the Children of God or some other
cult is probable, but whether she and her son had been exposed to
nudism as a way of life or, for that matter communal sex, before
coming to Our Town I don't know. His mom eventually found a job
keeping the books for a small firm--a job beneath her abilities,
I think--and moved about 50 miles away from us. She would bring
the Duca over a couple of times a year for alumnae(i) parties and
the like, but apparently--again like many boys and girls who
aren't fully integrated into our faith--the Duca was embarrassed
by his size and shape and supposed "inadequacy" once he reached
age 10, and he didn't want to visit after that. However, Mom's
Friend's admonition had stuck with her: that when a boy shows
signs of beginning to masturbate, or when he can be seen to have
frequent erections, and certainly if he ever has a wet dream,
that is the age to assure his coming out and there will always be
a girl or two ready, able and willing to make love to his penis
whatever its condition.
(The German pedo site I linked to above claims that "about 60% or
more males will experience orgasm before 9, by their own hand". I
have my doubts about the accuracy of that estimate; while I have
met lots of boys and a couple of girls who started masturbating
before age 11 most don't until the onset of puberty--which is
exactly when they should be steered towards heterosexual
lovemaking instead. The key to rational sexual education is to
bring up children so that they always know, from the youngest
age, that oral sex as foreplay is normal, wholesome behavior and
that the moment of ejaculation and the reception of semen by the
girl is the essence of Holy Communion. The fact that children
know about, and indeed have watched, parents and older teens at
sex is scarcely going to do them harm; and the few who seek
self-gratification would have done so anyway. The issue of what
little boys should do about erections when they get them is more
nuanced; but all the mothers I knew would gush over them and use
the opportunity to talk to their boy about puberty and how the
penis would change and how much fun it would give and receive.
And then change the subject.)
It was just about the time when Mom and I moved to Mom's Friend's
House from the houseboat, and I already had had a year's
experience in seducing the occasional pubescent boy. Here now was
a boy at the pool, nude, shy and nervous. The closer I got to him
the more nervous he became, and there was no sign of an erection.
But his penis had begun to grow, anticipating the growth of the
rest of his body. His mom was on a chaise longue and he was on
one of the benches near the pool. He did not look me in the eyes
but rather stared insistently at my breasts--an advantage for me
in what I was about to do. I asked him what he thought of
breasts; his answer was a non-answer. I took his hand and made
him feel them; perhaps because his mom was watching he dared not
resist. I did not stop chattering: never letting the boy respond,
or even think, is the key to proceeding with his body and getting
to play with his penis without resistance. Eventually my hand
wandered down to his penis and I began to fondle it. I had some
response malgré-lui and it made me smile. Yet there was something
about that response that I found odd: the boy seemed to know more
than he let on and once his penis got stiff he tried to take
charge, took the initiative to move it, 5-1/2 inches or so and
not very thick, towards my mouth. I didn't record in my diary all
the details, but I imagine that I did what I always did when
faced with a new penis, feeling its texture, sizing it up with my
tongue, exciting its tip, then moving my head in pace with the
boy's hip movements, if any.
Like all the rest of the pubescent boys I did this to, after the
first few strokes of my lips and tongue he was all mine and I was
in charge. It didn't take all that long for me, with appropriate
rest periods and circular strokes of my tongue around the tip of
his penis to stimulate it to maximum stiffness; and with
persistence and steady timing I brought him to the point of no
return and beyond, and the jerks of his lower body told me that
he was feeling waves of orgasm. There was just a drop or two of
semen for me to taste.
The boy now had to reciprocate but he knew nothing about
cunnilingus. Perhaps it had never occurred to him that he'd have
to reciprocate. I asked him if he had ever seen his mom having
sex. He didn't want to answer. Later I found that typically of
families that follow Mom's Friend's Way, family life and sleeping
arrangements involve a common room where there is no privacy. But
that he tried not to watch the penises that "invaded" his mother,
or to look inside her labia when her legs were opened. But now he
couldn't avoid it. About then, typically and seemingly
spontaneously (but clearly on the inspiration of somebody who was
watching the scene) one of the college boys showed up and began
to pay attention to the Duca's mom. Like many of the mothers she
was topless but with a bikini bottom or panties. And again like
many of the middle-aged women she was flattered in a
Mrs.-Robinson sort of way by this college boy with the big fresh
penis being attracted by her maturity. I couldn't hear the
conversation but it doesn't matter: I've heard those sweet
nothings often enough and they usually have the same result at
Mom's Friend's House. The boy's hand was under the woman's
panties, and soon enough her hand was on his penis.
(Slate, the online magazine, had an article recently on family
nudity:
http://slate.com/id/2174401/ xs--note especially the comment
about modesty arising in children between the ages of 4 and 8.
But of course only where nudity and open sexuality are not
practiced. Children reflect the norms of their family, their
community and their peers.)
The image I retain now, 14 years later, of what happened then is
something I was reminded of when, in college, I saw a poster of
the late Czech porn star Lea De Mae
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lea_De_Mae
with a gorgeous penis ensconced in her mouth, testicles hanging
down and Lea gazing in an admiring, passionate way at her lover's
face. I envied Duca's mother and wished I could make love to a
penis like that; but Mom's Friend's same-age rule was a bar.
(Actually, not long after I began an affair with the 16-Year-Old
Boy with the lovely 16-year-old penis, and the Same Age Rule was
never brought up. But that's because the 16-Year-Old Boy was
Mom's Friend's nephew; and hypocrisy has been with us forever,
has it not? I've described the 16-Year-Old Boy's penis in great
detail in earlier essays; suffice to say it was gorgeous and it
made me proud to be seen kissing it.)
When the college boy ejaculated in the Duca's mom's mouth his
semen bubbled out of it and bits dribbled down her chin. She
didn't have to say anything: the boy would have known the
protocol at Mom's Friend's House and he spread her legs and moved
his face between her thighs, proceeding to make love to her
clitoris with his tongue, and to play with her vagina by running
his tongue in and out, over and under. And the mother moved her
hips in sympathy to the movement of the tongue.
The Duca was transfixed by all this, and when he saw his mother
heave in orgasm he copied as best he could on my vagina, what he
had seen the boy do to hers. The college boy hadn't put his penis
into the Duca's mom's vagina perhaps because the rules would have
made him use a condom. The Duca, under 18 and not allowed to have
sex outside our closed safe circle, had no condom nor any need
for one. When I felt my climax coming on I got ready, and as soon
as it began to take over my senses I pulled the Duca up by his
shoulders and guided his semi-hard penis into my vagina. All the
time I thought of how close to Jesus I was bringing the Duca, and
how much of a blessing was even that little bit of semen he gave
me. I think the Duca was similarly entranced, for otherwise the
sight of that big penis in his mom's mouth, and the slurping of
semen at her lips, would probably have distressed him. Instead,
there is an inner peace that the penis of the Faithful brings to
a romantic engagement of sex-as-religion.
The Duca came to Mom's Friend's House about once a month from
that day until after he was 16 and could drive. It was then that
he assumed the personality of "Il Duca" and began being
captivating to girls. For a while I had sex with him with some
frequency, but unlike other girls I never entertained the wishful
thought that I could have him exclusively. From the age of 14 he
had been attending nude dance parties occasionally; and from 16
he was there most of the time, sometimes with me. I could see,
too, that at that age his attention was drawn to girls' breasts
and that he would spend a lot more time caressing and fondling
parts of the girl other than just her clitoris and vagina. And it
was clear he loved having his penis stared at: he loved standing
in front of a seated girl, in effect taunting her to touch his
penis, perhaps to press it to her mouth.
The Duca would organize topless parties of 3, 4 or 5 couples to
play cards or board games. I suppose this reflected his new
obsession. Everybody knew that at a certain time attention would
wander from the game and that first one boy or girl and then all
the boys and girls would start to fondle his or her partner. And
each girl would take down their boy's pants and play with his
penis and put it in her mouth and make love to it and--every
time--make the most of his semen, expecting her boy to take down
her panties and make love to her vagina with his mouth while she
continued enjoying his semen.
Originally all the girls were from Mom's Friend's crowd, but as
the Duca got older, 17 or 18, he had no trouble finding girls
from outside and he had parties in his own home and those of
others. I can't say that all the parents knew what kind of party
it was, but many did and like the Duca's mom were captivated by
the thought--and occasionally the sight--of girl taking boy's
big, circumcised penis into mouth and bringing it to ejaculation
before an audience. I know that at least a few mothers even from
outside our group got to see his penis and talked to their
daughters about how nicely it presented itself.
But as I said, the girls who thought they could keep the Duca
loyal were as naïve as those targeted by Verdi's (or, more
correctly perhaps, Victor Hugo's) Duca. And not a few mothers who
hoped for such a result. I took the Blond Haired Boy to one of
the Duca's parties, as much to show off my boyfriend and his
penis and semen to the Duca and his mom as anything else. That
was years later of course--I had lost touch with the Blond Haired
Boy from the time I left the houseboat to join Mom's Friend's
House--when I was 13--until I'd graduated from college and gotten
a job in the Capital City. Mom's Friend had told me that the Duca
had called so I called him back and found a date when I could
come to Our Town. We drove the 50 miles or so to the Duca's
place.
You can't recapture the atmosphere of adolescence and the party
was a bit disappointing as, I've found, reunion parties always
are. There was wine this time, decent wine in fact, so we were
probably as uninhibited as we would have been as adolescents. And
the Blond Haired Boy and I had no inhibitions about disrobing and
putting on a show of mutual oral sex: with me on top my vagina
was in full view and I could show off the Blond Haired Boy's
penis and make an event of his semen spurting into my mouth and
dripping down to be sucked back into my mouth. And people would
see, and I hope be impressed by, my vagina up there in the air.
But the trouble is that once in your 20s sex is no longer a
novelty, no longer an in-your-face challenge when you do it in
groups or in front of parents, relatives, friends. Most of the
time nobody much cares about the other couples and just worries
about the same things he or she would worry about in private:
erections and orgasms and impressing the partner. Unless you're
already married or committed and the partner is stuck with you.
----------
Perhaps the Duca is best understood from the circumstances of his
coming out, which I set out above. He told me at one point--he
must have been 16 or so already then--that he had masturbated
daily since the age of ten, that every day he had the urgent need
for an orgasm. His mom must have known, and it must have been
that fact that was behind his precocious coming out. "Of course"
he loved sharing his penis with a girl and loved the blessing of
her kissing his penis and of his ejaculating into her and of
bringing her to climax. And of course he respected his mom's and
Mom's Friend's admonitions against Onan's sin and all the rest;
but he could not help himself. And neither, I thought then and
think now, could he settle down with just one girl. Yet there
will always be girls and women who think otherwise, for whom it
is love of his penis and his personality at first sight. And I
imagine that his topless parties and their games and their
exchanges of bodily fluids can and will go on forever. However
much a girl may claim to be aghast at just the thought of putting
a penis in her mouth, much less making it ejaculate there and
swallowing the semen, the fact is that--and not just with Il
Duca--more girls rise to the challenge than turn away.
Don't get me wrong: those parties and all the events at Mom's
Friend's House where adolescents could cavort and boys and girls
could share each others' bodies were part and parcel of growing
up and of exercising our faith: ejaculation as Eucharist. But it
is also ordained that at some point we should settle down with a
life partner and if Il Duca represents more the modern secular
trend of late, or no, marriage and a life driven by career and
sex for its own--and not for Jesus's--sake, then even mainstream
cynics should begin to see validity in Mom's Friend's theology.
And indeed Moses David's concept of "flirty fishing": sex as an
inducement to and an expression of faith.
Whether constant masturbation made, or makes, the Duca "sex
obsessed" or a "sex addict" I can't say. I think his eagerness
(as he described it to me) to cross the line into puberty, his
constant erections and his early regard of adolescent girls as
sex objects is scarcely abnormal if on the extreme end of
normality. Perhaps he found his mom's sexual trysts
arousing--something that children in the CoG and in Mom's
Friend's community would not generally do. Still, I think his mom
was right to bring him to Mom's Friend's House early on, when he
was still a changeling, to direct his passion towards actual
girls who were, as I was, happy to play with his penis and enjoy
his orgasm--and, as the months passed, his generous and sexy
ejaculations. The best aspect of it all, I think, is that puberty
was never allowed to steal up to the Duca unobserved and
unappreciated. Every new pubic hair, every millimeter of growth
of his penis and every incremental drop of semen ejaculated were
noted and appreciated by him, his mom and by those of us girls
who played with them and who made the ejaculations happen. And of
course he reciprocated and kept his eyes wide open when he would
gently pull a girl's legs and her labia apart and approach her
clitoris with his tongue. It is true that just as the so-called
conundrum of "swallow or spit" was never heard at Mom's Friend's
House neither was there ever any hesitation to kiss and lick a
girl's vagina in the presence of menstruation. I remember the
Duca telling me that his mom had prepared him for that, and he
regarded it not as a price to pay for his own pleasure but as
another part--and this one literally so--of the Holy Communion of
the Body and Blood of Christ.
And it might be added that the Duca could be relied on to have a
fabulous erection not just before ejaculation, but after, so if a
girl wanted his penis in her vagina after--typically--he had
ejaculated in her mouth and then brought her to climax orally,
his penis was always ready for that. The only embarrassment I can
think of in that regard was one time when, at a dance, he
accomplished that with a girl whose brother was trying the same
thing to another girl, the two of them having sex right alongside
each other as brothers and sisters often did, and the brother
lost his erection and couldn't perform the last part. (On the
other hand, more than once a girl would criticize the way in
which some other girl was performing fellatio on the first girl's
brother. This could and did cause a certain amount of
inter-communal friction, but I won't go into that sort of thing
in this essay. By and large most of us were happy to learn from
each other, happy to try to maximize each other's pleasure. But
the fact is that there are those girls who at the sight of a
gorgeous penis are immediately inspired and entranced and want to
make it stiff and happy; and there are those who see doing this
just as the price of their own orgasm, a necessary nuisance task.
And you can't always discern which kind of girl it is just by
watching: some girls are just good actors. The same goes -- with
even more emphasis -- for boys and their eagerness, or the lack
of it, for cunnilingus. I think that in general the ones who
showed interest and concern over a sibling's orgasm, who were
happy to have a best friend performing oral sex on a sister or
brother, watching closely and enjoying the sight of each stroke
of tongue and lips against the sibling's sex parts -- these were,
themselves, the best sex partners to have.)
Probably today, with Viagra more or less available as insurance
for doubtful cases, that wouldn't happen. And even then it was
just a matter of waiting a few minutes or an hour for the
brother's penis to regain force. But the momentum, the valor and
the passion had been lost even if the girl's vagina was still
ready, able and more-or-less willing. In sex, after all, timing
is everything and most girls--at least I do--like the penis that
she has had in her mouth to finish up in her vagina, to penetrate
it just at the moment of her climax. That's why Mom's Friend made
that part of the defloration ceremony although of course there
the penis isn't allowed to ejaculate first in the debutante's
mouth and the whole point is for semen to drip from the vagina in
a beautiful stream in a fusion with virginal blood after the
hymen has been pierced. (That this is as much image and myth as
reality however is suggested by the fact that some, at least, of
the girls who had coming-out parties would secretly have been
carrying on fellatio and enjoying cunnilingus for some time
before. But then, as Bill Clinton taught us, fellatio isn't
"sex", is it?)
There are more and more amateur videos about of this sort of
thing and of course one can't tell the age of an adolescent
couple when only their sex parts are shown. I don't know why,
when the parties are genuinely consenting and have taken the
images themselves there should be any illegality but I suppose
without parental protection of the sort we had there can be abuse
and coercion that isn't obvious and law has to have bright-line
tests. Yet these don't necessarily work, as the recent brouhaha
over Elton John's original of a Nan Goldin photo (of a nude young
girl with her legs wide apart) suggests.
http://tinyurl.com/yrjkbg Another point is that pedophiles--
predators who Mom's Friend was always wary might take advantage
of her girls and boys--can be subtle, and of course they
misrepresent facts, human nature and child psychology to justify
themselves:
http://paedosexualitaet.de/techniques/oral.html
I've previously discussed at length the story of Mary Kay
Letourneau, the teacher twice impregnated by one of her pupils,
and imprisoned for the abuse:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau
There have doubtless been many such cases, and here's another,
very recent:
http://tinyurl.com/ys76bk
To return to the subject of Il Duca, "popularity" being
subjective and sometimes indefinable, especially as to the
reasons behind it (one can point, in specific cases, to humor,
looks, sportsmanship and athletic talent, etc. but many people
are just deemed "nice" without reasons being given), I can't say
why he was the target of girls' obsessions any more than I can
pinpoint why girls' mothers took to him so readily. Suffice to
say that more than once I would see him, unclothed and relaxing,
perhaps just watching the girls or just out of the pool, and he
might or might not have an erection as boys often did when they
caught sight of sexual antics elsewhere in Mom's Friend's
backyard. But more than once a mother prompted her daughter to
flirt with the Duca, and more than once a mother took
satisfaction in, later on, seeing the Duca's semen streaming into
her daughter. I guess it would have been vicarious delight, the
mother only wishing that she could have the Duca's penis in her
mouth and in her vagina. Not that it's a bad thing, then, but
mothers of girls were co-conspirators with the Duca, inspiring
their daughters to approach him, to arouse him, and to take
charge of his penis and to delight in his semen. This began early
on, when he was 13 or 14 and the girls 12 and 13; and it
continued until he was of college-age and left the closed circle
of Mom's Friend's adolescents.
As I've often written, Mom's Friend's House was quintessentially
"women's liberation" territory and it was (although the principle
was often ignored in fact) up to the girl to make the first
flirty moves. And to decide on the order of sex, although by our
faith and our protocol oral sex should always be the main element
of foreplay. And mothers were much involved. Is it any wonder
that several times, after a girl would finish making love to the
Duca--or for that matter to any of the more popular boys--I would
see her, decorated in the boy's semen, hugged and kissed by her
mom just as one would see at a girl's defloration party. Indeed,
I have be so hugged and kissed by my own mom on countless
occasions when she happened to see me making love. And I suppose
that other mothers gushed to their daughters as my mom did to me
about a particular boy's penis, and about the sight of a
particular boy's ejaculation. One has to wonder if, in mainstream
life, mothers don't imagine such opportunities to see their
daughters (and their sons) making love, don't imagine (and wish
for) such mother-daughter (and mother-son) conversations.
And--remembering that "mystical relationship" between mothers and
their son's penis that I have so often described--one has to
wonder whether mainstream moms (those who know about it, or those
who spontaneously imagine it) don't envy the mothers of boys who,
as they enter the room to deflower a girl on her coming-out day,
lower the boy's underpants to free his incipient erection. And
the mothers of girls who encourage their daughter to take the
initiative, at a topless event to be provocative, to flirt and
ultimately to uncover a target boy's penis, play with it and put
it in her mouth.
The mothers who actually do this are, almost all of them,
veterans of the 60s liberation and of the later oral sex
revolution. For them the sight of a bright and shiny head of a
circumcised penis touching a girl's lips and entering her mouth,
or sliding into a girl's vagina when she is at the cusp of
climax, is a religiously-charged event. Typically they will have
raised their girls not to fear but to cherish the penis and to
see in an erect penis the epitome of romance and beauty. And the
semen that the girl receives as the Word of God, the Communion of
Jesus. It's no wonder that mothers become so sentimental at the
sight of a sticky, drippy penis, recently pulled out of a
daughter's vagina. I wonder how many among you, Dear Readers, can
understand, can believe? For sex is not just for its own sake,
and pornography and onanism and pederasty and perversions
generally are as anathema to us as they are to the general
public. It is the connection with faith and their function as
expression of Divine Will and obedience to Divine Command that
make the sexual liaisons of pubescent and adolescent willing
partners good and correct.
----------
The relationship between daughters and fathers was more nuanced,
complex. Mom's Friend's House, and indeed Mom's Friend's
philosophy, were female-centered; there were not many fathers
about. (There is an issue here that can not be avoided, however
upsetting it might be for some. It is best illustrated by one of
my friends from Mom's Friend's House who was not only late to
mature but never showed--her body never displayed--all the
obvious secondary signs of puberty: she had very little pubic
hair, almost no breasts and almost no hips. I have written before
about the significance that we, in common with Islam, I'm
embarrassed to say placed upon pubic hair as a sign of puberty
and sexuality; but then we also had something in common with the
Jews in our insistence upon circumcision. On this point, while I
don't want to belabor it, there is a theological issue, and you
can read the tirades made against the Seventh Day Adventists and
their partial affirmation of Jewish law if you want to know more.
Suffice to say, Mom's Friend's dictate on circumcision was based
on health, esthetics and female preference as well as theology.
And I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of
uncircumcised penises I have allowed to enter my body, orally or
vaginally.) Reflect, Dear Reader, on the image of the hirsute
Louis Abolafia, he, candidate for president of the USA on the
Nude Party ticket, of the grand, circumcised penis displayed on
the poster on Mom's wall.) But her vagina was normal--one of
Mom's Friend's friends, a doctor who was often around the place,
attested to that and certified her suitability as a sex partner.
But at the limits and beyond of the 10% Rule mothers sought to
have her initiate their sons in oral sex and, more worryingly,
one or two of the men were clearly sexually excited by her. And,
from her standpoint, it seems that her flat chest and innocent
air caused her to act all the more sexily, to take the initiative
with oral sex a§nd mutual oral sex, to display whatever semen she
collected, to insist upon an audience whenever she cuddled a
penis, and so on. More than with other girls and their partners,
it seemed that an audience would gather to watch a big penis
penetrating Flat-Chested Girl's vagina, to express surprise at
her sophistication and her utterances of pleasure. I suppose that
some few--people from outside, not those grown up in our
ethic--expected, even wanted, her to be in pain, to be, in
effect, abused: but in fact she had both physical and emotional
capacity and for her, as for the rest of us, to take a penis into
her body was to obey a Commandment.
(The Times of London had an opinion piece very recently on the
feminist view of sex. Insofar as that view gives the girl the
leading role in "when" and "if" and "how", Mom's Friend would
have agreed. But the article dissents from that view:
http://tinyurl.com/ytxdeg )
To me and to most of my friends the sight of a gorgeous penis on
the verge of sliding into her vagina was little different,
emotionally and practically, from the time when the 13-year-old
Big-Breasted Girl had, in a second or to, to decide on letting
her partner's penis pierce her hymen at that nude dance party.
The fact that the Big-Breasted Girl looked more mature at 13 than
the Flat-Chested Girl at 15 is really beside the point. And why
should the latter feel threatened by a big penis? (Unless one was
pretending that she was--which she was not--a pre-pubescent
victim of coercion.) Think, for example, of my excitement over
the pair of 12-year-olds, he of the just-growing penis, bright
and stiff, fresh from orgasm and from ejaculating whatever it
could into his partner's cute vagina after their gymnastic tryst.
As with the other boys (and girls) who lived full-time at Mom's
Friend's House, to see a boy or girl coming out at age 11 or 12
was to have the pleasure and the honor of monitoring sexual and
emotional growth: watching sex parts--penis especially--grow up
in God's world of sexual based pleasure and faith.
(On the subject of bigness I should note that girls always love
to impress bystanders by strutting about with a boy with a big
penis or, better, a big erection. But a girl of 12, 13, 14 or so
will, in our community, attract more and better attention if she
is escorting a pubescent boy with a growing penis. Because the
fact of performing the missionary duty of training such a boy and
his penis--dare I use ironically that Jewish expression
"performing a mitzvah"?--carries even more prestige, and grace
too.)
As we all know, adolescent vaginas are flexible enough to deal
with all but the most freakish penises; and, as I've explained,
because our protocol demanded oral foreplay almost to the point
of orgasm, the size of a penis had and have little to do with our
sexual gratification: ejaculation and reception of semen have a
far greater significance as a matter of Holy Communion.) At the
time I didn't get the significance of all this but eventually I
learned of female FBI and police decoys who despite being in
their 20s can pass for 13 or 14 and are used as targets for
pedophiles. Were those men, one of them father of one of our
cutest and most eager party organizers, pedophiles? Does it
matter, if they never made any move to put at risk the girl in
question, or any of the naked little girls who would be about at
family events? (Isn't this like calling a guy "gay" even though
he's never done a homosexual act, just because he likes to look
at the penises of other men?) Does it make any difference that at
least outdoors we were usually unclothed? I really have no idea
but do worry that those who think ill of us could have used such
incidents as weapons against us, for unfair publicity and cynical
political advantage. I guess it is unsurprising that fathers and
other men often presented difficulties for us, and that--as I
wrote in one essay--Older Girl (I think it was) who was acting as
a monitor at one of our nude dance parties, had to take charge of
a father who got overly aroused at the sight of a bunch of girls,
including his daughter, in flagrante delicto, with penises in
their vaginas. Older Girl resolved the issue by putting the
father's penis in her mouth and getting him to ejaculate for her.
Funny how orgasm relaxes (some or most) men and makes them less
aggressive. I do get mellow after climax; but I don't think it
changes my demeanor all that much.
(In the course of writing this essay (I base my essays not only
on my early diaries but on Internet research and by telephoning
around to friends and former followers of the CoG and Mom's
Friend) I tried to track down the Flat-Chested Girl. Someone told
me, without being able to say that she had actually seen her in
action, that the Girl had dropped out of college years ago and
parlayed her pre-pubescent silhouette into the business of being
a party girl to the rich and famous, or at least the pedophiles
among them, who paid her for the image of being given a blow-job
by a 12-year-old, often in front of an audience. According to my
informant, she has saved her money and built up a Roth IRA worth
$1 million. But, as I said, proof is lacking and I wouldn't be so
crude as to intrude into her private life even if I had her
number. Suffice to say, the sight of a fat penis pressing into a
seemingly immature vagina turns on a lot of men. I would like to
add that Flat-Chested Girl is one of only a handful of Mom's
Friend's girls who grew up to become one some people call a "sex
worker" or, otherwise, a "groupie to the rich and famous". Most
of us are like me: linked in a monogamous relationship that
benefits from experience and knowledge and insight.)
Anyway, that particular girl understood her own situation, and
for the year or two when her cohort was sexually active and she
was not yet ready we didn't see much of her. Then suddenly she
had her defloration and she told me that in fact she hardly felt
the big penis sliding into her because the boy had spent so much
time licking her vagina. The fact that she had little in the way
of visible breasts had the consequence that boys tended to reach
for her vagina and stroke her clitoris as soon as they would
start to kiss, and in just a few minutes she would typically wind
up in a soixante-neuf position with her on the bottom. She
developed a technique, if anybody was watching, so that boys
would ejaculate with her lips on the head of their penis and the
semen collecting on her tongue so she could force some out of her
mouth to be seen and appreciated. It is, after all, a blessing
for couples watching to have the sight of semen being ejaculated
into a girl. On a couple of occasions I would be sitting very
close to her when a boy's penis was in her vagina; in that case
it would depend on the boy to create the "display". One or two
boys I knew were quite good at ejaculating their first spurt with
the penis actually outside the vagina so that the semen streamed
onto the labia and then the penis would push its way inside with
semen as lubricant and ejaculate more inside her. When the boy
finished there would be a lot of semen along its length and his
girl could then take the penis into her mouth and, herself, be
blessed.
As for fathers being aroused by all this young sex, Terrific
Girl's father seemed to be an exception; but he was largely
absent on his constant professional travels and when he would
come home he would typically undress and sidle up to Mom's Friend
with an erection to be dealt with by her. He was always happy to
see his daughter in her aroused and sexual state, manipulating
and making love to a penis. But some other fathers would look
away when daughters were playing with a penis, or even avoid
having to see their daughters' vaginas. (The New York Times
recently had an article on vaginas, and the unwillingness of
broadcasters to call it by its name:
http://tinyurl.com/2za82y ) This is something I could never quite
understand; at the extreme is a (mainstream) man I met
professionally once who told me he could not stand to see his
teen-aged daughter, albeit otherwise fully clothed, not wearing a
bra. The irony is that every one of the boys and men in our
community accepted that it is a good thing for them to show off
their erections and their ejaculations to family and friends;
that their own sexual joy and divine blessings are enhanced when
sons, daughters and other family members see and vicariously
enjoy their orgasms and their semen. And if there were any
brothers among us who would shrink at the sight of a penis
penetrating his sister I never noticed: brothers were generally
deeply touched by the sight of a sister putting her lips around a
penis, arousing it and bringing it to ejaculation whether in
mouth or in vagina.
And, as I've described time and time again, girls I've known,
from a young age, have always been proud of the penises of their
brothers and their fathers, delighted in their erections and
their ejaculations, smiled at the sight of a sticky, drippy penis
exiting from the vagina--or the mouth--of any girl or woman. But
then aren't girls and women generally more sanguine about sex,
and more understanding in matters of religion? That's my
impression anyway. The major issue with girls is the matter of
jealousy; but as we've seen in the court hearings over the
prosecution of Warren Jeffs, the Fundamentalist Mormon "prophet",
women can adapt sex to faith and banish jealousy when monogamy is
understood as alien to that faith. (In our case, we accept
monogamous marriage and it is as to pre-courtship that we argue
for sequential daily partners and multiple experiences--along
with the liberality of adolescent sex and the practice of oral
sex as foreplay.
Suffice it to say that whatever their eagerness or reticence at
actually participating in sex in each other's presence, fathers
and daughters were as willing as mothers and sons to see each
other naked and in the aftermath of sex, and also freely to
discuss their sex both in physical terms and in its relationship
to faith. It is just, I think, odd that while every daughter was
happy to see her father's penis erupting with semen and pleasing
a woman there remains for at least some men a double standard as
to their daughters. (Readers may refer to the incident I
mentioned above and in an earlier essay where a father, acting as
chaperone at a nude dance party, became rather upset and aroused
at the sight of his daughter having sex on the dance floor, and
Older Girl intervened and by making oral love to the father's
penis, calmed him and avoided any issue.) As Terrific Girl's dad
has said, there's a certain degree of hypocrisy in any male who,
having just ejaculated into his own partner shudders at the sight
of his daughter taking a penis into her mouth.
I have, in fact, never seen such a wide smile on her dad's face
as when Terrific Girl, having been brought to climax by a boy's
tongue licking her clitoris, has urgently reached over to bring
his penis into her vagina. Over the years of her childhood it was
Mom's Friend who taught Terrific Girl what she needed to know
about sex, who pointed out adolescents girls playing with
penises, making love and wearing traces of semen as badges of
faith and honor. But it was her own dad who had showed her early
on the mechanics of the penis and of ejaculation--Mom's Friend
taking the penis out of her mouth just in time to show off the
semen spurting out. The treatment of sex as a family event goes
to the essence of our communal religious existence and it is a
role for fathers and brothers as well as mothers and sisters.
Thus: all the instances I've described in other essays of sisters
calling on their best friend to be the first sex partner for a
younger brother, and watching while the brother's penis is made
excited and stuffed in vagina and brought to ejaculate.
Recall, Dear Reader, that the stability of our community and the
safety of its members was assured by its closed nature and that a
girl could be interested, and indeed aroused, only if a boy (and
his penis) were "properly introduced" (an expression I have used
often and a principle that cannot be overemphasized). The
introduction might be formal and planned, as by parents or by
Mom's Friend; or it might be spontaneous and even raw: "Carol, I
want you to meet Newboy. He obviously likes you--see how his
penis is pointing directly at you!" As people instinctively
know--even Larry Craig, whatever his denials--there are signals
and a minuet for notifying a potential partner of progress in
flirting and the probability of success. By the time a girl has
touched a boy's penis, however lightly, however casually, the
likelihood of that penis entering her mouth and his tongue her
vagina will have approached 100%. All of us from the moment of
puberty knew the drill.
Ultimately, the basis for our sharing of sexual expression is
that sexual intimacy--and "exchange of bodily fluids"--in the
presence of family and friends leads inescapably to bonding:
religious, emotional, affectionate and intellectual, as well as
the banishment of false modesty, shyness, jealousy, hesitation
(lack of spontaneity) and the other sins instilled in individuals
and in society by false prophets and hypocritical politicians and
professionals of whom Larry Craig is only the most recent
manifestation.
Yet there is the "evil [that] lurks in the hearts of men" that we
must all be wary of, on guard against: men like Charles Carl
Roberts, Ian Huntley, J. D. Roy Atchison (all of whom can be
Googled for details of their crimes).
And it is a fair question to ask whether encouraging pubescent
kids to have sex, and--even more--watching them and counseling
them while they do so, is valid religious expression or, on the
other hand, some form of child abuse. The fact is that teens who
are brought up in an atmosphere of open and liberal sexuality
choose to have sex early, and I think that's a legitimate social
option and beneficial to the teens. Children, teens especially,
tend to blame their parents for whatever ails them; the great
sculptor Louise Bourgeois has centered her art over her
perception that her father's adultery (with her nanny) wrecked
her life -- and her art is obviously sexual. But the notion that
early sex leads to delinquency has been firmly debunked.
http://snurl.com/debunkdel Early sex is biologically sound and a
matter of religious choice. But I know that others may disagree,
and not just arrogant social engineers and self-satisfied,
hypocritical politicians. The fact is that young teens, freed of
restraint, are happy to socialize in the nude and to enjoy random
sex in a collective, and safe, environment. One has only to read
my past essays to appreciate the natural sympathetic support, and
vicarious delight, of a mother and her son's ejaculating penis.
It is so natural that a mother should love to watch, over the
course of a year or more, her son's penis growing and to see it
on its first sexual exploration, its first ejaculation. I
remember those mothers who arranged nude family photographs every
few months and how much pleasure it was for the whole family to
recapture the drama of puberty, to share stories of early
orgasms. For parents to talk to their teens about their
developing bodies and their developing sex lives: to admire their
sex parts and to praise their sexuality.
But changes in laws, fear of STDs and a loss of communication
among successor groups to the old liberal communes and sects
means that there are few communities like Mom's Friend's today
where older family members directly supervise sexually-liberal
adolescents. I know at least a few such groups exist in Mexico
and perhaps Costa Rica. Otherwise, responsibility--as the case of
Rev. Mary suggests--has been transferred to peers with parents
able to claim "plausible denial". A pity, too, since protection
by mothers was a key part of Mom's Friend's philosophy. But there
is nobody, least of all Older Girl, to take over Mom's Friend's
leadership now that she has retired from her role as protector of
abused women and refugees from communes and sects--which
themselves have faded from view. In effect, the State and those
who control it have imposed its own religious dogma, depriving
mothers of the right to show their daughters and their sons God's
way, and to promote nudity and wholesome, safe sexual expression.
We are, it seems to me, at risk of going the way of back street
abortions in the sense that lack of advice and supervision puts
youngsters' health at risk. They are, after all, certainly not
going to cease having sex and they will certainly sense their
parents' approval and, I hope, regret their parents' absence at
that very important time when penis and vagina meet for the first
time. (There are, of course, some things that a slightly older
friend can do: for example I always told girls that while some
boys will announce that they are about to "come" many will not.
Either way it makes no difference: if the penis is in her mouth
the girl must be ready to deflect the semen to the floor of her
mouth for safekeeping. If her mom or an older friend is there,
that person's experience will probably tell her when ejaculation
is about to happen, but not always; and as I said the warning
should not be necessary.)
Yet, Political Correctness means that much of what we did 10 or
15 years ago in the open and with our mothers alongside at Mom's
Friend's House--most notably girls' coming out, at defloration
parties--probably could not happen today except in the most
secretive and remote closed communities. The article I linked
above from Slate Magazine explains why: the Amish are a special
case and the prosecution of Warren Jeffs reflects a threat to the
way we were. Girls whose faith calls them to sex from puberty and
for who know from toddlerhood about oral sex and semen will cross
that threshold just as early, but without parental guidance and
love and protection to accompany the rite of passage. This is not
a good and progressive development. It seems to me that it is the
essence of liberal family life for family and friends to see and
admire and vicariously share in the earliest sexual experiences
of a pubescent boy or girl, to see, admire and talk about the
boy's erection, the girl's enjoyment of it, the boy's exploration
with his tongue and his penis of the girl's vagina and her
clitoris. And most of all the traces of semen that testify to joy
and blessing for both. It is, after all, natural that two 12- or
13- or 14-year-olds who have just enjoyed orgasms will want to
run over to their watching mothers and be embraced; and that they
will be proud to see their moms smiling at the sight of a sticky
penis and a drippy vagina. And here is the credo:
It is a mother's joy to see her child enter puberty and join the
Congregation of communicants. Her advice and her protection are
precious: the sight of girl and boy joined together, semen
flowing from penis and blessing the girl in joy and in
faith--that is a mother's reward.
Love,
Carol
P.S. I am often asked about how my Mom is doing, health-wise. My
regular readers know that she has been suffering for some years
from a degenerative illness; she is now wheelchair-bound. Last
summer the Blond-Haired Boy and I took her to Paris to see the
sights; probably it will be the last trip she will be able to
take. Aside from the usual sights--the Eiffel Tower, Giverny, the
Louvre--she got to stay in a class of hotel that, in her working
life, she could never have afforded: the Four Seasons George V.
Her own sex life is behind her, but at least she could
appreciate, vicariously, ours. Like so many moms over the course
of my growing up, she wanted me and my partner to present
ourselves to her before and after, to see the stiff erection
close up before it went into my mouth; to see my partner kissing
my clitoris; to see his penis ejaculate into my vagina, injecting
me with semen and with passion, and see me wipe the semen off his
penis with my lips and tongue. Each of these acts is, to her as
to me, an act of homage to Jesus. So many times Mom and I played
in tandem with penises, had our climaxes together. I thought it
was really fitting that she should re-live her past joy, if only
vicariously, in Paris. Especially since she'd never before been
to any place more foreign than Canada or Mexico.
Another issue I am frequently accosted about is whether the
encouragement of adolescent sex isn't a form of child abuse. I
can only suggest that readers judge the answer from the opinions
and appraisals of those same adolescents after they have grown
up, and nearly 100% of them (well over 95% anyway) of girls say
that the fact that they were taught how to assure themselves of
orgasms, and that their boys were taught how to accomplish that,
and that they were freed from the myths of love and the fables of
false religions has brought them satisfaction, joy and salvation.
In few or no cases has sexual freedom impeded entering into
satisfying monogamous relationship(s) and finding family
happiness later in life. From the female point of view, which
after all is what I'm best placed to comment on, the expertise in
self-expression and relationship control (and, indeed, penis
control), something that many or most girls are deprived of in
mainstream growing-up, are incredible, wonderful assets.
Confidence, spontaneity, pride and immodesty are learned at
puberty or not at all, in my humble experience. And what, after
all, do we gain by hiding our most sensitive and beautiful body
parts from others: penis, breasts, vagina? And by what influence
do we come to a conclusion that the most beautiful and
pleasurable acts--penis in vagina, penis in mouth, mouth at
clitoris--are in any way "obscene" and to be performed in secret?
If all this were not true we would not have seen so many older
sisters (and brothers) seeking to introduce their younger
siblings to our liberal sexuality, and we would not have seen so
many young girls eager to come out just as soon as they became
aware of their sexual capacity and of their ability to arouse
boys. After all, 100% of girls who came out at Mom's Friend's
House would have had months or years of seeing older girls
playing with penises and making love--and their own mothers doing
likewise. I think it is a lot less hypocritical for girls who are
going to try to bring boys penises to erection through flirting
to accomplish that overtly and in public and in the nude than to
tease boys without any hope of satisfaction. And how much nicer
for the girl to be congratulated by her friends, by her mother,
and told how beautiful the boy's erect penis is, and how well she
has done. What a difference from the white slavery and
prostitution to which some, to whom all sex is sin and all
pleasure evil, would assimilate it. Compare:
http://nytimes.com/2007/10/27/opinion/27herbert.html (pimps,
sadists, psychopaths, drug addicts, violent criminals and
disease) A mother (or a sister, or a brother) does not tell her
daughter/sister to flirt, to play with a penis, to open her pubic
area for kissing, to welcome a penis into her body without
knowing that the penis will be welcome, that the girl is ready to
feel the joy, to experience the semen. And with parental guidance
a girl will feel confident and happy. And remember to keep her
eyes open, to look her boy in the eyes, to smile and be seen to
enjoy what she is doing, and to give and to expect respect and
romance.
¶ By the way: Moses David and Mom's Friend were not the first,
nor the only, religious philosophers to posit that religion is,
and should be, based upon sex. Read John Marco Allegro's "The
Sacred Mushroom and the Cross": Judaism and Christianity are
based on "mushrooms and sex". (Well, it's a bit more complicated
than that, but I have neither the space nor the time to elaborate
here.)
http://tinyurl.com/2deggf
_________________________________________________________________
Shed those extra pounds with MSN and The Biggest Loser!
http://biggestloser.msn.com/
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